Go Ahead, Be Curious
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
There’s an old saying: “Curiosity killed the cat.” It implies curiosity is bad for you and leads to dangerous risk-taking behavior. Similarly, Curious George is a mischievous little monkey that causes all kinds of trouble, although rarely getting in trouble himself! But this idea of curiosity is outdated—in humans, at least.
Curiosity is defined as a strong desire to know or learn something. It’s about the motivation to learn, be open to new ideas, and explore novel environments and situations. Being curious is a prerequisite for having a Beginner’s Mind—a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.
The late Shunryu Suzuki wrote about the concept of Beginner’s Mind or Shoshin in his book Zen Mind, Beginners Mind: “If your mind is empty…it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.” A mind that is curious and open, is more willing to learn and understand about others. It is free from judgment. It is interested in seeing, hearing, and understanding others.
Curiosity is also liberating given that you don’t have to have all the answers or know anything. Overall, curiosity is more of a state than a trait. It’s part nature and nurture. Like all skills, it requires dedication. Everyone has the potential to be curious, given the right conditions.
Mindfulness
Curiosity is an important element of mindfulness that can help people take a half-step back to observe what is unfolding from a neutral place. Curiosity is like opening the hood of a car to see what’s really going on, on the inside. There can be no mindfulness without the element of curiosity.
Mindfulness means paying attention to what’s happening in the present moment in the body, mind, and environment with an attitude of curiosity and kindness, and a willingness to be with what is.
Without the element of curiosity, you’re more likely to turn what you’re noticing into judgements about what is there, what you like, or dislike. More importantly, without curiosity there is more temptation to turn away from, avoid, or push down difficulty. If you’re curious you become interested in what is happening. When you’re interested there is less attachment or aversion.
Curious People Connect Better
Curiosity plays a role in social relationships. Studies have found that people who are curious are often viewed in social encounters as more interesting and engaging, and they are more apt to reach out to a wider variety of people. In addition, being curious seems to protect people from negative social experiences, like rejection, which could lead to better connection with others over time.
Curiosity tends to be associated with higher levels of positive emotions, lower levels of anxiety, more satisfaction with life, and greater psychological well-being. Curiosity leads to more empathy. When you are curious about others and talk to people outside your usual social circle, you are better able to understand those with lives, experiences, and worldviews different from your own. Next time you have the chance to talk with a stranger, especially someone who may be quite dissimilar to you, try engaging with them on a personal level and showing them that you are interested in what they have to say.
Curiosity Kicks Anxiety’s Butt
According to Dr. Jud Brewer, anxiety and worry can become a bad habit loop. Worrying can make you feel like you’re in control and can act as a distraction from the unpleasant sensations of anxiety. Despite the false sense of control, worrying isn’t helpful in taking charge of the future. However, worrying is rewarding enough that it feeds back into the reinforcement loop that drives the anxiety-worry-anxiety cycles. You feel anxious, then start to worry, and that worrying makes you more anxious. Your brain perceives that worrying will solve the problem, which is rewarding, but it doesn’t actually solve the problem, or you wouldn’t be worrying. It’s not actually rewarding.
By getting curious you can start to relate to the experience differently. Using the mantra, “Hmmm,” what does this feel like to be anxious and worried? Tense? Heart racing? Muscle tension? Excessive worry? Irritability? When you’re curious you might realize you are experiencing thoughts and feelings, and you don’t need to do anything about them. Ironically the less you do the more quickly they go away on their own. As you learn to be with the experience by being curious about it, “being” becomes the new “doing”. Curiosity feels better than judging or worrying, and as a result can get you out of anxiety.
Curiosity Fosters Leadership
As a leader, curiosity not only helps you connect better with others, it also helps to harness curiosity in colleagues as well. In addition, curiosity enables the ability to keep learning and developing the skills required to keep up with an ever-changing workplace. If you’re curious you’re more likely to be motivated, learn new skills, and be creative with solutions.
Nonetheless being time deprived or in an unstimulating work environment can dampen one’s curiosity. Curiosity should be fun and may require switching tasks and finding space for your mind to wander and wonder. Be it at work, home, or just life in general, you must create the conditions for curiosity to grow.
Curiosity at work can lead to you being more motivated, learn new skills, and be creative with solutions.
Photo by KOBU Agency on Unsplash
How to Build and Exercise Your Curiosity Muscle
Practice not being “a know it all.”
Initiate a conversation with someone you don’t normally talk to—a colleague or coworker, a friend with a different political view, a salesperson. It’s a way to actively be curious about the people, experiences, and perspectives around you. It enhances us, and our practice of being patient, compassionate, and generous.
Notice your expectations.
For example, when you send a text, e-mail, application, or whatever, try not to predict the response. Instead, accept the response, when it comes, with curiosity and openness. It doesn’t matter whether the response is positive or negative, try managing and accepting it with openness and curiosity. Whichever, respond appropriately.
Read an article about something entirely outside your wheelhouse or news articles from an outlet with a different perspective.
Then accept it for what it is, even if you disagree, with a “knowing” not “not knowing” mind.
Ask WHAT? Curious about WHAT?
What would you love to know more about? What area would you love to be an expert? What are topics that would make you lose track of time?
Ask “why” as often as you can.
That way you get to the nitty gritty of things and start to explore things in depth rather than superficially.
Find an angle of curiosity in something you’re not interested in.
Sometimes there is no choice but to delve into something that doesn’t interest you. This takes looking at a dimension of the problem that matters most to you. With a little bit of thinking and exploration you may find certain angles that matter deeply to you. Discovering the angle that matters turns mundane tasks into meaningful and useful activities that invite your curiosity.
Change your routine.
Switch around your daily tasks, where you eat, what you do on the weekend, where you shop. Even small changes can impact mindset and curiosity. The brain is lazy, and we tend to optimize our lives for familiarity, avoiding novelty because it can create stress, anxiety, or more work. Whenever you are in a new situation, you must work out what to do, as opposed to going on autopilot. Small changes to your daily routine will inject novelty and variety into your life. Even random variation can result in novel interests and trigger your curiosity.
Meditate.
When you sit and anchor your mind, you learn to stay with your experience. Maybe you’re restless or sleepy, or anxious, or there is physical pain. Curiosity allows you to turn toward the entirety of experience, being with what is. As you sit, you investigate the experience without an evaluation of it. Getting quiet, being curious, not judging or arguing, leads you to acceptance of what is. It trains you to have a Beginner’s Mind.
In our DNA
In the end, curiosity is an essential part of the human experience. Our ancestors needed to be curious to survive. The drive for exploration helped ensure the continuation of our species. Being curious doesn’t mean you throw away what you already know. Instead, you open yourself up to seeing and learning more. Harnessing your curiosity muscle should be a pleasant experience. It enhances focus, concentration, creativity, and experimentation, while decreasing judgment and creating room for connection with others.
If you’re curious about being more curious, please contact us.
Book a consultation and start working today with Wellness and Yoga Coaches.
View all our yoga classes and packages.
Become your best self.